Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Wednesday's Red Sox Lineup

I usually opt not to discuss sports in this blog, for whatever reason, but since I've been ranting and raving about it all afternoon, I figure why not rant and rave in blog form...

The gist:

Today's (08/30/06) starting lineup for my beloved Boston Red Sox may well be the worst batting lineup in the history of the franchise.

It went a little something like this:

Kevin Youkilis LF
Alex Cora SS
Mark Loretta DH
Mike Lowell 3B
Gabe Kapler CF
Doug Mirabelli C
Eric Hinske RF 3
Dustin Pedroia 2B
Carlos Pena 1B

Not surprisingly, the Sox lost 7-2, though those two runs (and 10 mysterious hits -- one for every person in the lineup not named Alex Cora) are slightly miraculous. In addition, despite oodles of defensive inexperience, the Sox didn't make a single error today. Odd.

Interesting things about the Sox lineup today:

1)Only three of the players have been regular starters this season -- Youkilis, Lowell and Loretta. Of those three players, only Lowell was playing in his natural position. The batters who didn't/couldn't play for the Sox today include David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Coco Crisp, Jason Varitek, Wily Mo Pena, Trot Nixon and Alex Gonzalez. That's insane.

2)Loretta, an all-star at second, was the designated hitter, which is a bit odd for a second baseman with four home runs for the season. It makes sense, though, when you know that Loretta DHed so that rookie Dustin Pedroia and his .138 batting average could be in the lineup.

3)Mirabelli, the catcher, is a .189 hitter. Of course, the Sox only have Mirabelli because he can catch Tim Wakefield's knuckleball. That's valuable. Unfortunately, Wakefield has been on the disabled list for a long time and, thus, Mirabelli and his .189 average are playing regularly, because the alternative is Javy Lopez, who has no knees. To Mirabelli's credit, he only allowed one stolen base today. Not to his credit? He allowed the opposing team's catcher to steal the base.

4)Best of all: The Sox had two Jewish players -- Youkilis and Kapler -- in the same outfield today. That doesn't happen very often. I'm too lazy to see if Youkilis and Kapler have been in the outfield together at any point this season. I'd still be curious to know when the last time it happened previously.

4a)This has absolutely nothing to do with their respective degrees of Jewishness, but is a Youkilis-Kapler-Hinske outfield the lead coordinated outfield imaginable? Yes. It may be.

This is why the Sox are going to need a miracle to stay ahead of the Blue Jays for third place in the AL East.

It makes me sad. ays for third place in the AL East.

It makes me sad.

And do you want to know the worst part? I still found this freak show more interesting to write about than last night's premiere of "Celebrity Duets."


  1. Not entirely germane to your Red Sox lament, but I went to high school with two girls named Youkilis. They were a year ahead of me, they were twins and they were really goodlooking. That's a potent combo.

    I grew up in Cincinnati, and Kevin Youkilis grew up nearby, so with a name that unusual, it's almost certain they're related.

  2. Darnit. Even Googling relentlessly, I can't seem to find any evidence of Kevin Youkilis having hot twin sisters or cousins or whatnot.

    Once again, the Internet has failed me...

  3. Yeah, he's definitely not their brother; I've always assumed they were cousins.

    I did a little Googling, too, and couldn't find anything on the twins. I bet they're both married and use their husbands' names.

    By the way, I have a baseball lament, too: a week ago, the Reds were tied for first in their division. Today, they're five games out, and a game-and-a-half back in the wild card race. I guess I don't need to worry about freeing up my October evenings.

  4. Patty Lynn Youkilis3:18 PM

    OK...I can't resist! Seeing as I am a twin....Kevin's COUSIN....and live in beyond flattering! My twin lives in Phoenix...and her friend came across these comments....I had to speak up. Being referred to as "hot" and "goodlooking" was a great thing to read today....hope I don't disappoint :)
    Patty Youkilis (Kevins'twin cuz!)