Thursday, May 04, 2006

Musings on Unbeatable Terry, Schoolgirl Mischa and More

Some musings while waiting for tonight's Lakers game to end...

1)Survivor: Decision Making: I get confused on "Survivor" strategies and alliances, but I didn't get Terry's logic pairing up the remaining castaways with their loved ones. Surely the best bet would have been letting Cirie and her equally goofy husband have the other secluded bedroom for some entirely unpleasant nookie. Shane and Boston could have gone back to camp and hung out together, which Boston probably would have gotten a kick out of. I guess Terry understands he couldn't beat Cirie if they're in the Final 2, so he doesn't see any value an allying with her? Aras' Oedipal mini-breakdown about how much he craved alone time with his mother was just additional proof of how pathetic this season's crop of non-Terry survivors have been. The only other person with any legitimate claim at deserving to win is Cirie because of just how illogical her continued presence has been. She should have been gone one or two weeks in and as good as Terry has been with the challenges, she's been a superstar with the personality-management.

2)The O.C. -- The Good: Gotta applaud any episode that creates such flimsy pretext to plop Mischa Barton in a schoolgirl outfit. Bonus points for Pointless Lacrosse Stud calling Marissa on her weak British accent [That amused me for a pair of reasons, the first involving Barton's actual semi-upbringing in England and the second involving the fact that Barton did play, without any irony or commentary on the accent, a snooty British private school girl in the generally forgettable Dominique Swain vehicle "Tart."] And even more points for the fact that Mini Mischa (Willa Holland) came compete with her own Baby Bilson as a roommate. Much kudos to the casting director who was able to create that pairing, not that it made Marissa's roadtrip even vaguely worth the effort. The only way it would have worked was if, on her way back, Marissa had picked up an ice cream cone, dropped it and had an unfortunate accident a la the dearly departed Mitch Leery.

3)The O.C. -- The Bad: Oh Josh Schwartz. You spin me right round, Josh, right round like a record, Josh, right round, round round. Whenever you talk about finales with a showrunner, they invariably discuss how the last episode is meant to echo back to the first episode. Everybody loves symmetry. So that means Kiki drinking again. That means Seth and Summer causing problems for each other that could have just been eliminated by talking. That means Ryan rediscovering his distaste for backseat car-jacking. That means Ryan and Theresa having their annual flirtation with their true love, as if anybody is buying that story. That means Seth choosing just about the best timing and location ever to start smoking pot again. Can't wait for the finale! Ryan potentially in trouble with the law! Seth potentially in trouble with the law! Sandy potentially in trouble with the law! There's been so much speculating on how the show will keep the characters together in college, but perhaps next season's really going to take place in the Newport Minimum Security State Pen? I have a nifty idea that involves Summer getting intentionally arrested for shoplifting so that she can break all of the characters out of the hoosegow. I'd suggest that Marissa would be better suited for the Michael Schofield part -- what with her previously established assortment of legal problems -- but since they're promising that somebody *might* kick the bucket in two weeks, everybody's just assuming its her.

4)The Prisoner Redux: If you ask me nicely, and I ever get my personal computer fixed, I may send you the grad school essay I wrote comparing "The Prisoner" to "Gilligan's Island." It's part of why I'm reviewing movies for a living now instead of teaching at a university somewhere. In any case, I have no objections to the plan to create a new "Prisoner" mini-series for Sky One. The only thing that matters is that they find a way to justify keeping the Rovers the same. Technology may have advanced, but not even Jeremy Bentham's Panopticon could match the surveillance capabilities of those funky white balloons. But you know what would be even better than a new version of "The Prisoner"? A new DVD set of the old "Prisoner," so that people could reexperience the real thing without having to pay around a hundred bucks for the huge, inefficient 10-disc current set.

5)The Lakers Are Toast: They couldn't close out the series at 3-1. That was fine. Then they couldn't close it out at 3-2 at home with the Suns without Raja Bell. Does anybody honestly think that this team, a team with so little character, is going to be able to rebound and win a Game 7 in Phoenix? Seriously?

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous9:26 PM

    I was assuming that he'd send Boston to the camp too, but maybe Terry thought their camp life was too rough for a kid?

    Has he never seen the J.D. Roth-hosted, kiddie-Survivor show called "Endurance."