Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Early "Top Model" Handicapping

If "Survivor" and "American Idol" are the Mercedes and Bentley of reality television franchises, "America's Next Top Model" has to be the Miata or something. It's small, it's sleek and if you like it too much, somebody's bound to question your sexuality, which is just plain ridiculous. For my money, two of the happiest days of the year come when UPN unveils the new set of "Top Model" contestants, which is like the dummy ads they set up at places like to lure you in before you discover that the sexy singles on the inside, don't necessarily match the sexy singles on the outside.

Looking at the models for Season Six of "Top Model," it's evident that the theme this installment is bone-structure. Check out the jaws and cheekbones on Brooke and Kathy and Mollie Sue and Joanie. To be fair, I like Mollie Sue, because she says that her favorite movie is "Last Tango in Paris." And I'm OK with Joanie, because she endorse "The Goonies."

However, just as good taste in cinema can always win my heart, bad taste can turn me just as cold. Thus, I must part ways with Wendy because nobody is allowed to call "The Wedding Planner" their favorite movie. Similarly, while Kari may have that "Hottest 18-Year-Old At The Mall" vibe, she says that her favorite movie is "What Dreams May Come." Seriously? In case you've forgotten, that's the one where Robin Williams goes to Heaven, gets annoyed by the combination of digital effects and Cuba Gooding Jr. and does his best to escape. Poor Kari.

My favorites? Well, I like 6'1" Amazon Sara. I also appreciate that Nnenna and Furonda give me the chance to say "Nnenna" and "Furonda" at random intervals.

Until they start getting drunk, crying about eating disorders and squealing at Tyra, though... The jury's still out.

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