For six-and-a-half seasons now, American Idol contestants have heard near-weekly lectures from the judges about how covering certain singers -- Whitney, Christina, Celine, Mariah -- is just a recipe for disaster, Tuesday (April 15) night's show is dedicated entirely to karaoke versions of Mariah Carey hits. Gee. That sounds like a recipe for disaster, right?
Singer: PRESUMPTIVE AMERICAN IDOL DAVID ARCHULETA
Song: "When You Believe"
My Take: Perhaps more than ever before, opening the show has been a death sentence this season. How did David Archuleta come to be performing first tonight, then? And, more importantly, how did he come to be wearing what appear to be leather pants? Ugh. I guess this wasn't the week for David to break out of his power balladeering mode, was it? Anybody remember the last time he looked like he was having fun? I only remember his eyes half-closed and his hand raised up urging viewers to follow him on his Children's March. Whether you're viewing David as remarkably consistent or remarkably monotonous is completely subjective at this point. I think he's aware that the only way he can lose is to make a horrible mistake and he has no interest in swaying new fans. I like how the only advice we saw Mariah give David was to go into his falsetto at the end. And that he didn't. Mariah Carey has no advice to give David Archuleta. [Note: At least one reader says David did the falsetto and I was just napping through it. I can't necessarily disagree.]
Garnett, Pierce and Simon Say: Randy was a little worried tonight, but he says that David can sing and therefore he can sing anything. This is factually inaccurate. Paula suspects that it's a huge honor for Mariah to hear David Archuleta sing her songs. Simon says he could have predicted the song choice, but that David performed it very well.
Singer: CARLY SMITHSON
Song: "Without You"
My Take: This is an interesting choice, because it's a song that pre-dates Mariah (not that you'd hear anybody mention "Harry Nilsson") and therefore hasn't been completely defined by Mariah. The song has a slow build and for a while there's a clear sense that Carly is holding herself back, trying to avoid over-singing. It's a decent strategy and it prevents some of the excess she's been prone to in her lesser moments. But do you really want to watch a performer who's only showing you a third of her performance capacity? And since this should, at least in theory, be a mighty emotional song, how are you supposed to connect to a cover where the singer's every thought is only "I'm trying not to yell at you"?
Garnett, Pierce and Simon Say: Randy urges her to check it out, but he cautions that she needs to trust herself in her lower register. Paula's a fan of the new-found the vocal restraint. Simon just doesn't think Carly can pull off the Mariah comparison. He suggests she's capable of pulling it off, but she's not confident enough.
Singer: SYESHA MERCADO
Song: "Vanishing"
My Take: This is a trap night for Syesha, whose every song choice this season has suggested a diva's confidence, if not the diva's ability. Dressed fetchingly in a tight gold evening gown, Syesha isn't taking the soft-sell here. The performance is almost nothing but runs and vibrato and vocal brinksmanship. It feels like a technical showcase more than a pure vocal performance and I think that if she had trusted the melody a bit more and showboated a bit less, it might have been better overall. That being said, there's obvious skill to what she's doing and there's also more risk-taking here than in either David or Carly's numbers. As Randy is so prone to saying, Syesha doesn't take the easy road.
Garnett, Pierce and Simon Say: Randy likes that she's bold and that all-things-considered she did a good job. Paula stammers something about Syesha's intelligence, raving it was "unbelievably magical." Simon would have chosen a song that more people know.
And how were the other four performers?
As always, check out the full recap over at Zap2it's It Happened Last Night blog.
Wednesday (April 1) night is Dolly Parton Night on American Idol, with Dolly serving as guest mentor, which will force surly judge Simon Cowell to balance his hatred of country music with his love of kissing up to celebrity visitors. As for me? I suspect the entire show will feel like an hour-long April Fool's joke (though hopefully less lame than the one Ryan Seacrest uses to start the show)...
Singer: BROOKE WHITE
Song: "Jolene"
My Take: Even Dolly can't deny the honesty of America's Nanny. Strumming the guitar, Brooke doesn't stray very far from the original melody and arrangement of what is -- if I were forced to list such things -- probably my favorite Parton song. I'm not sure she exactly gets the song's tone of melodic regret and pleading -- ain't nobody capable of stealin' Brooke White's man, no suh -- but it's simple and not-unpleasant. One of these weeks, Brooke's going to have to put just a little bit more out there vocally.
Hoss, Little Joe and Simon Say: Randy thinks she could make an album like this, but despite pitch and pacing problems, it was only aight for him. Brooke thanks him sincerely. Paula thinks Brooke has an emotional connection with every song she picks. Brooke sends her a very sweet "Thank you" note and the two women proceed to rave about each other's hair. Simon goes back to the evergreen "busking" analogy, saying he didn't see any connection. Brooke sends him a muffin basket to show there are no hard feelings.
Singer: PRESUMPTIVE AMERICAN IDOL WINNER DAVID [COOK]
Song: "Little Sparrow"
My Take: The producers of American Idol should be embarrassed by how they're letting random websites spell out the terms of a half-hearted controversy about David "The Leader" Cook's borrowing of different arrangements. This is a competition for cover artists and 99 percent of the performances on the show are borrowed from somebody or another. Yes, the artists behind the arrangements should be credited, probably, just so that they can get some benefit, but regardless of what Chris Cornell thinks, he couldn't have gotten any more credit last week than he did. Nobody else is being forced to bend over backward like he is, so David's making a special point of emphasizing that this week's version is all him. Well, mostly it's Dolly, actually. David thinks a bit more of his falsetto than I do, resorting too much to pushing high notes that, by the last one, betray him completely. Still, he makes the song sound contemporary and masculine, which is admirable.
Hoss, Little Joe and Simon Say: You know what Randy loves? He loves David's range. You know what Paula loves? David's haircut. They both rave about his "false," which means they need to listen to the last one on replay. We know that Simon has problems with songs about birds, but even he's enthusiastic.
Singer: RAMIELE MALUBAY
Song: "Do I Every Cross Your Mind"
My Take: Oh, Little Ramiele. You've got so much spunk, but why can't you choose a song that fits your voice properly? By the half-way point this jaunty track gets close, but for the first 30 seconds or so, she's mumbling notes that are much too low for her to enunciate. And that's a third of the song. Do we forget about that just because she sounds fine by the end? I don't. I defy anybody to tell me what this song is about or what its tone is based on Ramiele's performance.
Hoss, Little Joe and Simon Say: Check it out! Randy isn't jumping up and down, but he isn't mad at her either, giving her a 6.5/10. Paula's proud and thinks it was a great minute-and-thirty-seconds. Simon speculates we won't remember this in 10 years.
Singer: JASON CASTRO
Song: "Travelin' Thru"
My Take: Way to go, Jason! I wouldn't necessarily have thought the theme song from a movie about a transgender parent's pre-surgery odyssey could be transformed into something perfect for the next Muppet movie, but there it is. Did the band start out too fast or did Jason on his guitar? There's what seems to be a dramatic tempo swap early on, but maybe that's part of the song? I'm grading Clifford the Muppet on a curve this week because he's been so very, very bad the past two weeks. This week, he's less bad, though the funny faces are still there in spades.
Hoss, Little Joe and Simon Say: Randy figures that by the end of the song Jason worked it out. It was one of Jason's strongest performances for Paula. Simon jeopardizes his season pass to Dollywood by criticizing both the song and performance.
But what about the rest of the performances?
Check out the full recap over at Zap2it's It Happened Last Night...
Singer: RAMIELE MALUBAY
Song: "Hearts Alone"
My Take: The producers have apparently tired of Ramiele's so-so brand of party karaoke, giving her the Opening Slot of Death this week and dressing her in The High Waisted Shorts of Death. Tonight's secondary theme, of course, is making viewers like me feel wicked old. I remember when this song when playing on the radio. It was in tune back then. Tonight? It's mostly flat. And sometimes sharp. And generally shouted. And delivered without an iota of movement on the stage. The conspiracy theorists will think this entire performance was part of the ongoing conspiracy to keep Kristy Lee Cook around. I just think Ramiele hasn't been very good since the first week of the Top 24.
Tinker, Evers and Simon Say Randy implies that it wasn't the right song choice and that Ramiele being under the weather isn't really an excuse. Paula, who also sounds like she's also sick, is glad that America has heard her sing, praising her bravery. Let's discuss Paula's black elbow-high gloves and bejeweled bracelets. OK. Fine. Let's not. Simon, feeling generous, doesn't think it was as bad as Randy did. He adds that since Ramiele skated last week after a bad week, this week should be OK as well. Ryan accuses Randy of being too harsh tonight.
Singer: JASON CASTRO
Song: "Fragile"
My Take: Happy Birthday, Jason. Never has my favorite Stoner Muppet appeared more frantically guided by his unseen puppeteer. His hands strum wildly across his guitar, rarely making music, but at least steering the rhythm. The lyrics are all mumbled and I seem to recall the Sting version having a melody instead of just a high nasal hum. Once again, Jason isn't singing a song that's nearly complicated enough to justify the raised brows, pursed lips and clenched eyelids. They have coaches on this show and if they could sort of teach Carmen Rasmusen how not to bleat like a goat, surely they can show Jason how not to wince and mug.
Tinker, Evers and Simon Say Randy loves the song and loves the Spanish touch, but he's still waiting to see that breakout vocal performance. For Paula, the lack of vocal range is Jason staying true to who he is. Simon, though, demands that Jason takes this more seriously, comparing it to somebody busking outside of a subway station. We warns him that he won't win if he doesn't do something more. Ryan asks Jason if he's taking it seriously. Jason replies, "Yeah." He asks why Simon might get a different impression. Jason replies, "Uh... I dunno."
Singer: SYESHA MERCADO
Song: "If I Were Your Woman"
My Take: Yes, Syesha. We've heard your baby cry before. Last time it was creepy and interesting. Now? Tired of it. Last week's somewhat over-praised version of "Yesterday" may have given Syesha the mistaken impression that she has a diva's voice, which she doesn't. The bigger the notes are, the more she sounds like she's shouting. For the most part, though, the song has been properly arranged to keep her right on the threshold of yelling, leading to a nice, solid vocal. I think there's an upbeat side to her that works better than this, that would show off her personality.
Tinker, Evers and Simon Say Randy says this was the best he's ever heard her sing, cheering that "We've got another competitor in the competition." Paula says this is the moment that Syesha flipped it and that she's now the dark horse. This time, Simon says that the end part wasn't as good as Randy thought it was.
Singer: CHIKEZIE
Song: "If Only For One Night"
My Take: After his first audition I said that Chikezie was giving me a Skinny Velvet Teddybear vibe, so I like the idea of him doing a Luther-by-way-of-Ruben cover. Chikezie has so much more range than the three singers who came before him. He has a smooth falsetto and rich low tones and his voice can work with anything. Does it work best with ballads? Probably not. Somehow the cheesiness inherent in Chikezie's wide-open approach to entertaining seemed less evident and more genuine with his more up-tempo Beatles performances the past two weeks. Just to get a better overall sense, I turned away from my TV and I absolutely enjoyed what I heard. I couldn't say that about Ramiele or Jason.
Tinker, Evers and Simon Say Randy thinks Chikezie was too old school, not hip and cool. Paula disagrees, raving that Chikezie's a throwback. Simon is right that the performance was cheesy, but at least he credits Chikezie with singing it well. He misses Chikezie's personality.
Singer: BROOKE WHITE
Song: "Every Breath You Take"
My Take: Brooke blunders the start of her song, pauses and starts over, but most people at home are probably going, "Doesn't she look so pretty with her hair straightened and isn't her mom a babe?" and didn't even notice. It's an appropriate song choice for a singer whose fans are right on the verge of getting stalker-ish. Credit Brooke for not letting her early stumble entirely throw her off, but I'm not sure she's hearing the piano properly, because she's trying to unnecessarily yell over it. It gets worse when the band joins her and she's suddenly trying to be heard over even more music. After last week, I doubt we'll never see her move again and it's great that she's able to make a song about stalking sound so sweet.
Tinker, Evers and Simon Say Randy loves the professionalism of her restart, but he isn't so enthusiastic about the song's second half. Brooke pats him on the head and assures him that it's OK to criticize her. Paula's pleased that Brooke has her own niche. Brooke pats her on the head and reassures her that it's OK to worship her. Simon thinks it would have been cooler without the band accompaniment. He's sure she'll be around for another week, though. Brooke pats him on the head and assures him that if voted back she'll gladly perform. Is everybody repeating how brave Brooke was for starting over as way of slamming lyric-botcher Presumptive American Idol Winner David Archuleta?
For the full recap, head over to Zap2it's It Happened Last Night blog...
Since last week's Lennon-McCartney Night was so successful -- I'm not being sarcastic there, though I know it's hard to tell sometimes -- it's back to the well once more on Tuesday (March 18) night's American Idol, with a Beatles theme. Would lightning strike twice or would the second time on the huge Idol stage not be the charm? Let's find out, shall we?
Singer: AMANDA OVERMYER
Song: "Back in the USSR"
My Take: Mommy, what's the USSR? I'm very glad that Amanda isn't rockin' the striped black-n-white pants this week, opting for a tight vest and straight-forward jeans instead. From the beginning, this is a more mumbly performance from Amanda. This isn't an Archuleta situation where she's unsure of the words. She just doesn't decide they matter until at least the half-way point, but since a disheartening percentage of the American Idol audience couldn't tell you what "U.S.S.R." means anyway, that isn't a disaster. The light show is lively, Amanda makes solid use of the stage, she rarely ventures outside of her limited vocal comfort zone and the audience seems happy. I'd have preferred to hear her do "Helter Skelter" or any number of later, edgier Beatles tunes, but I didn't get a vote.
The Lion, Scarecrow and Simon Say: Randy thinks it was the perfect song choice, but he only gives her a 7-out-of-10 for the pitchy beginning. Paula calls Amanda "the quintessential, authentic who-you-are." Was that another Horton Hears a Who plug? For Simon, it was what it was. He's decided to get tired Amanda. This is the part where he tells Amanda to mix things up. Then next week she changes things up and Simon says, "No no no, I didn't see any of you in that song at all." "Ballads are boring," Amanda scoffs.
Singer: KRISTY LEE COOK
Song: "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away"
My Take: Last week was a hilarious disaster for Kristy, a disaster I mostly blamed on the arrangement of the song. But the Idol producers like Kristy (or like being able to torture her on elimination night), so she gets to take viewers through her personal photo album -- She loves horses and dogs... Love her, America! -- before her clip package. If she made "Eight Days a Week" too fast last week, she went the opposite direction tonight, turning "You've Got To Hide Love Away" into a slowed down country power ballad. It isn't inherently a bad strategy, but did the arranger of the song ever listen to Kristy's voice? She doesn't have a very good low register and the song keeps dipping into deep notes where she vanishes entirely. It moves high at the end and she does, predictably, sound better. Why is it that Chikezie found a way to take the Beatles down a country path last week, but Kristy's clueless?
The Lion, Scarecrow and Simon Say: Randy doesn't like the arrangement and wanted more melody. Paula thinks this is the best Kristy's ever looked -- and in a short skirt and cowboy boots she's bound to be matching somebody's fetish -- but still calls it "safe" and "good." Simon comments that she isn't a good performer, prescribing hypnosis and describing her as musical wallpaper. He cautions that she's only memorable when she's terrible. Kristy warns Simon that she can blow him out of his socks. Ummm...
Singer: PRESUMPTIVE AMERICA IDOL WINNER DAVID ARCHULETA
Song: "The Long and Winding Road"
My Take: I guess if you had a blunder like Presumptive American Idol Winner David Archuleta did last week, it's better not to ignore how bad you were, so David's entire clip package is dedicated to how much he stunk. So much for that theory about how you have to have a short memory in this business. In his spare time, David appears to have been cutting his own hair. He now looks spectacularly elfin. Or maybe like a leprechaun for St. Patrick's Day? He's got the lyrics down this week, looking relieved and ever-so-humble at the end. I'm not going to argue with the basic vocals, but it's another uber-serious, mega-sincere performance from David. Would anybody like to see some evidence that he's having fun with this?
The Lion, Scarecrow and Simon Say: Randy requests that we check it out, baby. "David Archuleta's brought the hotness back to his game," he yells. For Paula, it was his most exciting and wonderful performance, raving about his ability to rise above adversity. I'm sorry, but one bad performance isn't "adversity." Ask one of the performers who have spent a decade living hand-to-mouth to try to make a living about "adversity," OK Simon calls him amazing and raves that it was a master class.
Singer: MICHAEL JOHNS
Song: "A Day in the Life"
My Take: Can we agree that Ryan's awkward product plug for iPhones and then Coke was disgusting? Anything that makes me sorry for Ryan is bad. The arrangement is initially so sleepy that the only time I perk up is when Michael mangles his attempted falsetto. Even when the song picks up and the camera starts spinning around Michael in nauseating fashion, it's a lackluster cover of what is, I agree, one of the Beatles' finest moments. Something's wrong with Michael, because this shouldn't have been so hard. The indiscriminate audience cheers, but Michael looks chagrinned.
The Lion, Scarecrow and Simon Say: Randy wants to see more of Michael's big old voice, closing with "It wasn't one of your good ones." Paula attributes tonight's problems to their earpieces and makes sure that viewers know Michael was spectacular in rehearsal. Simon says it was a mess, comparing him negatively to David. In a brilliant moment, Ryan asks a sheepish Michael to show the camera his earpiece. The problem? He's not wearing an earpiece. Michael makes the sympathy play by saying that the song was a favorite of a deceased friend.
Singer: BROOKE WHITE
Song: "Here Comes the Sun"
My Take: I believe Brooke just described her performance of "Let It Be" as one of the greatest moments in the history of the world. Brooke has a sunny yellow dress on and she has an orange sun rising on the screen behind her. I get it. The sun's coming. Where? Here. But without a guitar or piano, she's laughably unsure about what to do on stage. I find myself thinking of Abigail Breslin's performance in Little Miss Sunshine as Brooke does a goofy little spin and occasionally waves her arms wildly, like Big Bird on acid. Why doesn't she make a big sun with her arms and start wiggling her fingers like she's making rays? She looks beautiful, but spastic. She ends with a close-up grin so cloying it may give millions of viewers diabetes.
The Lion, Scarecrow and Simon Say: Randy describes the performance as "awkward," as Brooke quickly apologizes for her spin and admits that moving isn't really her thing. Paula can't help but smile. She starts rambling about Brooke's low-notes. Simon says it was terrible. "It was wet," he says cryptically. Naturally, Brooke takes criticism like a gracious, sunny fairy. It's the most sincere acceptance of of criticism in the show's history. I half-expect Brooke to come down and pat Randy, Paula and Simon on their heads. Brooke is treating the judges and America like we're her children and she's our nanny.
For the full recap, head over to Zap2it's It Happened Last Night blog.
